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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Should I Use Social Media to Publicly Humiliate my Theiving Ex?

Dear Cybersorter,
An ex is following me on Twitter – all well and good except he ripped me off years ago.
Then, I was shy and overly accommodating. I knew he had emptied my account pretending my card was stolen – but he knew the Pin. I am ashamed to say, we carried on until a later date when the relationship ended thanks to another crisis.
He’s quite well known now, a consummate professional. Friends find it hilarious, but I have an overwhelming urge to take him to task publically.
GK

Dear GK,
Allowing this man him to continue on now as if nothing has happened is allowing him to continue to use your psyche as a doormat.
I can see how shaming him publicly is tempting. One can be so venomously pithy in 140 characters or less, for example: “#ff @smoothgit if you want bank account cleared out by lying piece of scum with no conscience.”
However tempting it is, though, airing your dirty laundry – or launderer, for that matter – on Twitter tends to draw judgments on, and distancing from, you by other friends.
It doesn’t need to be quite so direct. Try tweeting “@smoothgit Hi, great to be back in touch. I’ll DM my a/c details for the reimbursement.” No one else need know the full details, but he will know exactly what you mean. He will also know that if one of you is now taking it lying down, it will be him.

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