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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

"A Holiday Romance Followed me Home"

Dear Cybersorter,
I had a holiday fling. I am single and I like it that way. When I went off to Ibiza with the lads I met someone who was fun to be with but not exactly my type.
Now she has tried to friend me on Facebook and, though I don’t follow her on Twitter, she follows me. She has started to send me public messages. The most recent one said “I hope you are OK?”
She often reacts to my Twitter updates as if she were in on a conversation with me. It’s like she’s having a relationship with me without my consent.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and guilty. I do like her but I don’t want a relationship with her. What’s the best course of action?
BL

Dear BL
With social media, as with STDs, what goes on holiday no longer stays on holiday. It can follow you home.
Though your email acts tough, it’s clear your conscience is bothering you. What you saw as a holiday fling, she saw as a holiday romance, or possibly a true deep connection to another human being.
If you weren’t clear with her from the beginning about staying separate after you got on the plane home, you have behaved unfairly.
If you like her, you should follow her Twitter feed and send her a direct message. You should apologise for hurting her and explain you are not interested in anything further.
You should then block her for your own and her good. Be aware when you block someone on Twitter, unlike Facebook, they can still see your public profile page.

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