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Wednesday, May 18, 2011

I Don't Believe his Facebook Personna

Dear Cybersorter,
I have an ex-colleague who I’m almost certain is gay. Shortly after he moved to his new job he started posting pictures of his new girlfriend on Facebook along with out-of-character lovey-dovey messages.
He seems to be performing an online charade in an effort to fit in – or to convince his friends he is straight.
It doesn’t matter to me or his other friends whether he is gay. I would like to explain this to him, as I don’t think he’s happy, but I’m not sure how or if I should. I also feel a bit sorry for the girlfriend.
JO’B

Dear JO’B,
Our Facebook page is a front for the personality we wish to project and polish for our wider circle of friends and acquaintances. By going over the top on Facebook about his current girlfriend your friend is asserting publicly, that he is straight and madly in love.
It is his prerogative to choose if and when he wants to come out and to whom. He may be using this girlfriend unfairly, but he may not. Everyone takes a leap of faith when they begin a relationship. It isn’t your job to protect her heart or his sexuality – and neither would thank you for trying.
Being false comes across thick and fast on platforms like Facebook and Twitter.Whilst users can promote better, more successfull versions of themselves, they can't be someone completely different to who they really are for very long. Other's, like yourself, quickly smell a rat.

The best thing you can do for your freind in this circumstance is keep commucation channells open. If and when his world changes and he come to you for advice, only then should you offer your opinion.

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