Fake Facebook Friends

Dear Cybersorter,
I am friends with an old classmate on Facebook. All through school he was short and weedy and a bit mean. I didn’t like him much. He wasn’t particularly talented at anything and would hang out with his bigger friends on the football pitch all the time. He would often make snide comments to me in class.
Now, I am tormented by pictures of him with his fabulous new life in Canada with a stunning girlfriend. His updates are about going yachting and having summer barbeques with beautiful people.
By comparison, my life is humdrum and grey around the edges. It’s eating me up but I know if I defriend him he’s going to know it’s because his life is better than mine; and it shouldn’t be.
DC

Dear DC,
Defriend him and do it now. It’s not like he’s going to show up on your doorstep tearfully demanding how you could do this to him.
The only reason it’s on your mind is that he’s there in front of you on your newsfeed. And really, if he was such a little squit at school, why would you continue to stay in touch?
If he’s out of your newstream, he’s out out of that irritating spot in your psyche.
Is his life really that fabulous? You only know the small positive bits he puts on Facebook, nowhere near the full story of his life, which, if you are correct about him, is eternally marred by his miserable personality and his dwarf-like physical status. Just because he has a pretty girlfriend doesn’t mean that everything in his life is fabulous. It just means even pretty girls sometimes pick a dud.