Sick Of Being Sold To

Dear Cybersorter,
I accepted a friend request on Facebook from a vague acquaintance who runs a retail business. All she ever did was ask me to 'like' her business page. She never took part in any discussions or posted anything herself. I 'ignored' the first five 'like' requests but after the sixth I blocked her. I really didn't mind being asked once, but after that I expected her to realise that I'm just not interested.
She really seemed to miss the whole point of Facebook - friendliness, reciprocity, conversation, fun.
However, in case I bump into her, will she know I have blocked her?
Sick of Being Sold To

Dear Sick of Being Sold To,
Blocked and de-friended people are not sent notification that they have been blocked. If you block someone on Facebook (not just de-friend them) then you become invisible to each other. If they search you they will not find you. Instead of saying “Not today thanks” to the double glazing salesperson, you are slamming the door in his face, telling him never to darken it again and erecting a 10 ft wall around your house, especially for him.
When she next sends you a “like” my business page message (in the next 5 mins by the sound of it) it will simply disappear into the Internet ether, never to reach and irritate you.
Since it is clear she is not seeking reciprocity, but is doing the equivalent of trying to strap you down and force you to watch her advertisement repeatedly, she probably won’t realise.
Ignorance is bliss; and a bad way of conducting business.

Facebook Photo Tagging Reveals Real You

Dear Cybersorter,

Before Facebook, I had a compartmentalised life. In work, I am Mr. Professional, wearing a tie and waving at charts. When I get home, I try to be romantic. When I'm with my friends, I'm probably going to be the one wearing a lampshade as a hat.

Now, thanks to Facebook tagging, my world is in tatters! My credibility is shot! People tag me in all sorts of incriminating pictures, how can I stop them doing that!

I can't defriend anyone (I am, after all, friends with all of them), but I'd like to avoid the sinking feeling I get when I get the email that someone has tagged a photo of me.

Yours, Compromised.

Dear Compromised,
Facebook membership means your life is an open picture book. The problem is you are not always the author or editor of your own story. You cannot stop anyone from tagging you in a photo but you can go view the photo and click "remove tag".

Unfortunately the owner of the photo can still leave the picture up for anyone to see.

How much do you know and trust your Facebook friends?
Anthropologist Robin Dunbar asserts that you can only sustain stable social relationships with roughly 150 people. Apply Dunbar's number to your Facebook.
If you find a photo of yourself you don’t like; 1) ring or visit the "friend" who has posted the offending picture and ask them to take it off the site, (this won't go down well if you yell at your wife for posting a picture of you walking hand in hand in the sunset) 2) Never friend anyone stupid, 3) Never do anything stupid, or 4) Compartmentalise your social media. Facebook is not the only platform.

Defriending in a fit of pique

Dear Cybersorter,
In a fit of pique I defriended the guy I had been dating because he did something to annoy me. Later I realised that I had gotten the wrong end of the stick and overreacted. He is, in reality, totally sweet and fab and I fear I am an emotional nutter.
Do I tell him my Facebook has gone wonky and I need to re-friend him or do I just let it slide and hope he wont notice????

Dear Wonky,
Saving face on Facebook is difficult to achieve.There's a reason most humans, (leaving out footballers, D list celebrities and criminals) have evolved a reticence to act on first impulse. It tends to embarrass us.
This is doubly true for social media where, due to it's private in public nature, the exercising of strong emotions should not be taken lightly.
If he is in any way sensible he will notice you are not present in his news feed and if you tell him "My Facebook went wonky" he won't believe you. That's not to say it's not the answer.
Sometimes these little white lies help us say what needs to be said without saying it and move on, face and facebook intact.

Aggresive De-friending

Dear Cyber Sorter,
Recently several friends friends posted the following right wing prayer to their profiles;
"DEAR LORD, THIS YEAR YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTOR, PATRICK SWAYZIE. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE ACTRESS, FARAH FAWCETT. YOU TOOK MY FAVORITE SINGER, MICHAEL JACKSON. I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW, MY FAVORITE PRESIDENT IS BARACK OBAMA. AMEN"
In reaction I joined the group, "Petition to remove facebook group praying for President Obama's death"

Now they have ‘un-friended' me. I want them to know that I too want to un-friend them – but they got to it first. Should I just let it go or is there another way to let them know that they are in the wrong?

Thanks

J. R. Dublin

Dear J.R,
We will leave aside the fact that you were friends (allbeit online) with people whose favourite actor and singer were Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson. Perhaps they had other qualities.

The fact is you have moved on from being online frenemies to outright enemies. So you have little to loose.
Send them fresh requests for friendship. Add a groveling note about how you have since found God , and how He has had a stern word with you about the necessity for Barak Obama to die.

If they accept your friendship request then revenge is your oyster. Spam their walls with clips from Bill Maher's documentary Religulous and post up Atheist society billboards. If you really want to aggravate them then ridicule the Fox news channel.
Then, before they get the chance, cut them off at the knees and defriend them. It can all be done in the satisfying space of 10 minutes.
Only you can be the judge of whether it is worth spending that much time on.

Falling Foul of Foursquare

Dear Cybersorter,
My husband plays the online game Foursquare, where you compete with others to "check in" online at as many locations as many times as possible. I had a long day with our two children last Friday while he was in work. We were all ill; at lunchtime we agreed he would come home on time to take over. The allotted time came and went. I checked my FB status and there was an update from him, five minutes ago, checking into the pub!
I am furious. How should I proceed?
Yours,
Furious in Foxrock

Dear Furious,
You are suffering from U.R (understandable rage). Your options are 3 fold. 1) send him furious text messages including a graphic recount of how you gave birth to his children, twice. 2) Go offline completely, read The Surrendered Wife and repress all your wishes and needs in favour of his, and implode. 3.)Don't say a word. The idiot is wide open and you can keep tabs on him at all times. This means you can make him suffer without ever having to tell him why.
He can remove his foursquare feeds from his FB updates but if you can figure out his username (try "plonker1972) you could still track him using Google. That's a step too far. You don't want to get creepy and end up staring on a you tube reality show called "Married Bunny Boilers Island"